Food Connection: Chuck’s Deli
Food Connection: MakanMakan
I am totally messed up. I don’t know my goals, I don’t know where to end. I don’t know where to start. The straight line I have been following is now more of a blur rather than crooked. I am lost. I am scared.
I don’t know where to get the juices I have since starting this trip. I want to throw it all away and hide. To go where nobody would find me and stay there until I’m okay. I think I am tough but things are going wrong in ways that I do not understand.
I might be depressed or just sad, or frustrated. I don’t know. I feel totally lost right now.
I want to ditch the trip that I have set but it is there, an imposing challenge that I cannot resist. It is right there in the future, a signage, a symbol, a road block, a detour that I cannot possibly skip. I must endure. Sometimes I think how shallow of an individual I must be. Giving up in the first signs of trial. I imagine that this is also part of the trip, the road to travelling, the road to finding my true passion, or just finding me.
In the next few months I want to try to find my bearings and my harmony. But until then I would be stuck in this old dark place that is me.
Not a med student or something. Just something to ponder about. Commonly, it is recognized as ‘Straight from the Heart’, but then like any part of our system, it is just a muscle. Dig deeper and I realized that the only conscious part of our system is the brain. The one that does the thinking and recognizes emotions, memory and matters of the heart.
Since I have decided to write based on my reactions to my surroundings, from my emotions, that raw feeling I get from an incredible encounter, I might as well recognize its source.
You know, to understand it more. To learn stuff… and stuff.
Yes it’s overly abused. yes it is over used. But when you have friends and they come here to have fun, we live and breath by these words.